We spent the weekend moving a dear friend of ours to New York, and I'm so happy to say she's safe and sound with her sweet son starting their new chapter. We all been startin some new chapters this year my LAWD have we... We left Wilmington Friday morning and crossed the Virginia line when the snow flakes started 'n we thought, "and so it begins..." Joe was captaining the full size U-Haul for our 10 hr drive which we could have made in one trip, but the snow through northern Virginia mixed with the traffic on 95, nonstop brakelights 'n me hollerin BABE!, both of us bein hungry, me backin his pickup into a car earlier that mornin, our friend following us gettin in a fender bender as another friend at home texted his truck caught fire...we thought, "Let's not push it." We stayed overnight in Gettysburg 'n left just as the snow caught up with us. I had realized we'd be driving right past Williamsport where I lived for a short time with my mom and still have family nearby in Montoursville. Isn't it so strange when you realize how many chapters you've had in your life 'n some you almost forgot about? Getting closer I I just kept thinking about how many times I'd made the 11 hour drive back 'n forth from Manteo. Listenin to Alice in Chains, Soundgarden, and Incubus, chain smokin cigarettes with the heat pumpin in the trusty Grand Wagoneer. There's a curve coming down the mountain right before you get into Williamsport that overlooks all the lights 'n I'd forgotten how much I loved it.
We walked around downtown 'n I pointed out where I used to work 'n the new shops that weren't there years before. There's a fog of depression in that area that hangs around the buildings 'n wrinkles people's foreheards. It ain't everyone... but when I'd tell people I moved there, the usual reply was, "Why would you move here? It's awful." I hadn't been makin real smart choices back on the Outer Banks, but I was still smart enough to know I was pushin my luck. I'd moved to Pennsylvania to get my GED when I was 17 'n to get myself out of some not so great situations I'd gotten myself into. I got lucky enough to get my Highschool Diploma by assiting the instructor and tutoring the recovering meth addicts and criminals in my class. I needed a reality check obviously. This town was where I kinda got myself back on my feet, not always gracefully, but on my feet nonetheless, and that's what we wanted to do for our friend.
We arrived Saturday at the family's home in New York a couple hours before her and the babe so we stood chit chatting 'n drinkin tea, 'n coffee, 'n eatin snacks. It was wonderful to catch up 'n relax; the move was aaaalmost done! I excused myself to go pee, shut the door behind me in the bathroom, 'n started feelin a lil dizzy the closer I got to the window behind the toilet. (Thank God women sit to pee.) I sat there takin slow deep breathes like, "You're ok..you're ok..." I could feel the room rocking back and forth slowly. It would stop for a second 'n I'd think, "ok we're good" 'n then a sudden downward drop again. This wasn't the first time I'd felt this, but it had been a while 'n this was comin on really strong. I thought, "I bet my blood sugars low, that's what it is... No I literally just ate a buncha wheat thins with pepperoni, tea with honey, and had a full breakfast with only a couple hours of driving..." "Maybe my neck needs to pop cause it's throwing off my inner ear fluid?" I kept breathing slowly 'n stood up to wash my hands but it only got worse infront of the sink. Rather than rocking and swaying, I just felt a quick dropping sensation over and over again. I looked around me at the mirrors 'n thought, "Mmm somethin aint right up in here." I really started gettin worried I was gonna pass out 'n may need to go lie down. I walked back out into the living room to rejoin the conversation 'n sat on the rocking chair... nothin. I felt fine, steady as a rock. OK then.
We had the best evening sharing smoked salmon 'n drinks, getting to know eachother and laughing at all these beautiful babies runnin circles around the house. (Yall know my ovaries were like GIMME THAT BABY!) It got closer to bed time 'n the big kids wanted to keep chattin so we moved the tea talk back to the main house for the evening 'n caught up for a while longer. My eyes were gettin heavy 'n my belly was full so I was like, "Ok I gotta wash my face 'n brush my teeth yall" I grabbed my stuff 'n walked in the bathroom 'n sure enough, there it was again. As soon as I got to the sink, I started droppin. Everytime I shut my eyes 'n tilted my head down to wash my face I felt like I was gonna hit my head on the sink the feeling was so strong. What the hail!? I kept feelin, "Somethin is burried out here 'n it aint good...somebody is NOT happy." When we went to bed I quietly said to Joe, "Did you feel anything in the bathroom by any chance?" "I mean I kinda felt like somebody was lookin in the window..." "yeah...somethin aint right. I was droppin over 'n over like after you been ridin roller coasters all day. 'N earlier it felt like somebody was rockin my boat...I'm gonna ask her mom in the mornin if somethin's happened." I kept hearin the name Tracey before I fell asleep, 'n then had these awful nightmares about a dark haired man killing a woman and someone she was with. I remembered in the dream that he was never found out, his mother protected him 'n he remained a free man. It was not a pleasant dream to say the least, but I felt like it was spelling out what I had been feeling.
The next morning when our friend asked how I slept (she knows how I am) I said laughing, "I mean it's a new house so ya know...I be feelin some sheeit...ok but like...what is up with the bathroom?" Her mom started laughing and said her mother was around a lot and also another fella that had passed. That was not at all what I'd felt, but not bein real familiar with the family 'n it not being my home, I wasn't about to be like, "Mmm that wasn't it, you got some unwelcome funk up in hurr." A lot of times people say they're completely open about stuff, but then you elaborate 'n soon realize...they ain't down with THAT kinda stuff haha. I trust my gut if it's time to share somethin or not, 'n I'd rather share too little and revisit it later than bowl someone over with information that could leave them unsettled ya know what I'm sayin? If we knew eeeeevery spiritual interaction goin on all the time...we'd be like TURN THAT SHIT DOWN I can't hear myself think! Ignorance is bliss is in a lotta things...
It was just me, my husband, 'n our friend heading to the airport for our return flight home Sunday as she pointed out childhood memories 'n old stompin grounds on the way into Ithaca. We passed a mountain side with bare trees that she knew a bunch of local witches used to practice and hang dolls throughout the woods, my stomach dropped before she even pointed out the area 'n I thought about the bathroom. "Do you feel anything?" she said, "You know you can tell me." "I mean yeah," I said, " it's just...it doesnt feel good so I don't like focusin on it, it always feels a lil sinky 'n sickening with stuff like that. It's a low yuck feeling..." "That wasn't grandma or him you felt in the bathroom was it..." she said. "Nooooo...'n I didn't wanna stand there 'n tell your mom what I felt it was, I just didn't wanna really lay that on her cause I'm not exactly sure what it was. Did somethin happen around the bathroom? Is somethin burried under the house or like maybe it's just from that piece of land?" She looked in the rearview 'n said, "Actaully, the neighbor's house through the woods, his wife died years ago...well, they think he might have killed her, but anyways, supposedly he buried her in the basement. I dunno if that might have anything to do with it."
I'd love to know if her name was Tracey. We shall see...
" It's a gift and a weight to see the dark and the light clearly. Share both with intergrity and responsiblity. Just like someone visiting you in physical form for assistance, it is the same in the spirit world. Not everyone in your path is for you to help. "
-Dr. Rebecca Garifo