"She's the responsible one..."
"Who's responsible for this?"
Who's faces did you see with the first quote? Someone not real fun? Someone who's always the one to say it's time to go home; it's best to not do that thing you're thinkin about doin? Someone who's always wound a lil too tight?
What about the second quote? Maybe a CSI episode with detectives inspecting a crime scene? Someone who's committed a shameful act?
Why is this?
When did the word "responsible" become societies new scarlet letter? As if taking responsiblity means shaming ourselves, accepting blame or giving up freedom. Rather than a powerful tone of ownership and empowerment, it's become a bit of a shameful sentence.
When we push aside accountability and honest self reflection and acceptance of our own free will, we hand over our power simultaneously. We step to the side of our highest self and play the role of an innocent bistander. We see life happening to us and so we are only victims of circumstance yelling at the constant injustices.
This puts us in a state of helplessness, anger, and frustration at situations that may leave us feeling tied to the whipping post. But are we really? Is it that the whole world is working against us, undermining us and belittling us? Or are we in such a state of anger that we seek out situation after situation to fuel our current state continuously? To prove to ourselves and others that we deserve a serious apology, and somebody better hand our power back immediately! How dare they step all over it! How dare they not respect our boundaries! We can point our fingers all day long at people being ridiculous, corrupt, and vicious, but it won't do a damn thing for our wellbeing.
Demanding other's hand our power back is about as useful as protesting for a 3 drink limit at all bars because we have a drinking problem. It ain't gonna happen yall. It's our choice how we live, what we digest, and how we treat ourselves. Our choices of boundaries with friends, family, and community. Our choices in diet and exercise. Our choices of entertainment and lifetstyle. All of these choices we make for ourselves, is what we project to the world around us of what we will allow and invite into our lives.
If you want your power back, stand in it honey. Tall as you can. Do you see where you took part in something wonderful that happened to you? Own it. Do you also see where you took part in something awful that happened to you? Own it. I don't believe anyone has EVER out right asked to be raped, mistreated, disrespected, or even criticized, but these moments build passion. Passion to stand strong in ourselves. Passion to see where boundaries weren't put into place. Passion to protect one another. Passion to wake up and take control of our lives. Until it's awakened somehow, this passion can lay dorment in most of us. This is what leaves many people not really knowing their purpose or true selves.
We need these moments, these jolts in our lives to shake us and say, "what happened there? how long was I asleep?" It's not about taking something back from anyone. It's about remembering we're far more powerful and capable of captaining our lives than we realize. We have something to offer, something to share, something to teach. We realize we're not just making it through the day any longer, we have purpose.
Those of us that have become ill in any way, usually begin seeking truth and health feverishly, when we would usually put it off for another day. Those of us that have experienced sexual violence and disrespect of our bodies, usually begin learning to heal ourselves and regain compassion toward our self image. Those of us that have experienced toxic relationships and mental abuse begin learning to set boundaries and trust our wisdom.
I did this painting at a time I knew I had to accept responsibilty of my own life and my own joy if I was going to heal. I named it Stand Tall Little One.
If someone is in a dark enough place to send out vibrations of harm and pain toward others, I promise the only beneficial thing they can give back to you is their absence.
It's up to us to stand in our power, and release the idea that we are victims. We are the strong ones. We are the ones who choose our joy, our fulfillment, our surroundings. That is responsiblity. That is power. That is living in freedom and happiness.
"Before the star steps on stage, they dim the house lights. Do not curse the environment around you, but see that it is the background you chose for your light to be shown clearest to you. At times of tragedy, seeds of compassion and humanity awaken in your souls, this is your remembering."
with love and joy-
Dr. Rebecca Garifo