Are you fuckin' with me?

July 2, 2018

As empaths we can sometimes be blindsided by people who see us as nonconfrontational and therefore, major pushovers.  The perfect stomping ground for someone who needs to "win" and be seen as superior and even Christ like.

 

It's natural for us to allow others to speak for hours, listen attentively, and praise their accomplishments, because it brings us that much joy to see others shine!!  We wanna clap our hands (I often do...) and jump up in our seats when we see them reaching for their goals!  It's easy for us to forgive and understand other's mistakes, because we genuinely understand how and why the worst ones can be made. As empaths we're also experts at self analysis and introspection...like oooooverly good at it sometimes...and then aren't so good about the self forgiveness part.

 

As in everyone else's faults are completely forgivable and undestandable...but if I feel like I had the wrong tone with someone during a 5 minute conversation, I struggle to not text them and apologize profusely for making things weird or possibly giving the impression I didn't care immensely.  I mean I STRUGGLE not opening old wounds with people from years ago because I never stop the self analysis..."I coulda said this better... I shoulda explained this...I think I misunderstood that..."

 

This can be and is very healthy...in regular doses.  But not when it's keeping us from loving ourselves as we are.  Salty moods and all.  This extreme giving to others and self dissecting is palpable to manipulative people y'all...they eat that shit up like a damn go-gurt.  I'm still finding the balance every day.

 

When we begin to use our voices, unfortunately it can be met with a lot of people who don't wanna lose their foot stool.  Their old stomping grounds for tooting their own horns and flaunting themselves.  We gonna upset some folks...  But I'm here to tell you you're not doin' it alone, and you're not bein an asshole, even if ya get yelled at haha

 

 

 

Manipulative and condescending comments are often delivered between two slices of a smile and a sympathic tone.  "Aw you poor thing...you think you're so smart butcha not..."  It's subtle, but quite intentionally used to belittle us, to light a match in our subconcious of, "Well, they really seem to be sure of themselves, and they're pittying me... should I be pittying me too?  Every statment I make is met with a question or they correct me, never giving me the full story like they have confidential information that I'm not worthy to hear yet..."

 

I used to spend hours and hours on the phone with a spiritual teacher who'd start every conversation with, "And what's coming up for yoooou...?"  It took years for me to trust the sinking shamed feeling I felt everytime she made that statement.  She wasn't honestly asking how I was doing, she was asking what else I'd found that was wrong with me that day.  What else she could shake her head at and say, "Uh huh... more healing to do I see..."

 

I have honestly lived pretty much every scenario of toxic relationships for the last 30 years.  When Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, Toxic People, Gaslighting, or any of these kinds of topics come up, I wanna grab a megaphone.

 

Not one of the people or situations I've left have been disliked by the majority of others, in fact the complete opposite.  They're extremely liked, praised, and even adored for their kindness, generosity, spiritual connectedness and humility.  Some of these people are still being followed around the globe promising miraculous healing and spiritual awakening, receiving thousands to basically mess with people's heads and turn their lives completely upside down.  Some of them are quietly manipulating the lives of everyone around them, including children, for daily entertainment while being praised for their selfless nature and positive attitude.

 

It can be unbearable to think about some of the situations I've left, but we have to save ourselves first.  And there's more often than not... no one and no thing that will tell us exactly WHEN it's time to go.  Only we can know that.  I feel so passionate about sharing experiences and feelings over and over because I wanna help someone else trust their red flags, their tummy aches, their nonstop colds that won't go away.  The crying spells met with, "I just don't understand why you're so upset..."

 

There just comes this day when you think, "How much more of this can I take?  How many more times can I question a statment, a situation, or cry for what they say is a misunderstanding?  Can I live the rest of my life like this?"   And if that's where you are today, then can you?  

 

Can you live a healthy and vibrant life if most of your days keep looking like this?  

This simple question can seriously bring some incredibly unclear situations to their knees.

 

 

 

 

Divine Message-

"Your energy, your light, your vibrant joy, is yours alone to share or nurture in solitude.  Should you find yourself in a situation where permission must be granted to partake of your own well of divine knowledge and love, we assure you it is your right to break free of such restraints.  You need no permission, and those that demand you ask for it, only fear their own well has run dry."

 

 

with love and joy-

Dr. Rebecca Garifo

 

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