How often have you been having a conversation with a fellow healer, spiritual practictioner, yoga master, energy worker etc., and the entire tone of the conversation becomes slightly competitive?
There's an elephant wearing mala beads in the room.
This subilminal anger arises as if we're yelling back and forth between namastes and smiles, "NOPE NOPE NOPE! My teacher was the best. My way is the best. You don't know as much as me. You're not as qualified, travelled, certified, experienced, and connected as me. "
For a community all about light 'n love...the shit can get cut throat out there.
Until I chilled the fuck out and realized I don't need to prove anything to anyone, (especially myself) I could NOT stop attracting these passive aggressive situations. I'd constantly be sought out and interrogated under the premise of making friends, but quickly I'd realize I was really being sniffed out.
It's not a good feeling, not at all.
And that is not to say I havent stacked myself up against other people numerous times. Beating myself down for not having the same certifications, or the overwhelming confidence in myself as others do, tiptoeing around what it is I actually feel joyful in doing, but may not have a complete understanding of just yet. I've often tried to hide the doubt I've had in myself, by boasting my knowledge in certain traditions, when in reality I was thinking, " I don't know what the fuck I'm doing... "
It hasn't been until I let go of the need for being "woke" and coming off as "all knowing" that I could relax into just doing my best and making sure I'm happy and following my own heart. Period.
It hasn't been until the last few years, that I could feel the interrogation coming from someone and just breath and remind myself, " I am not in competition with this person, whatsoever. I'm just doin' my best, and my passions may shift and change year to year, so I don't need to know it all, and since my heart's where my work is coming from, most importantly, I just need to know myself. "
I've not held back whatsoever in previous blogs, social posts, or podcast episodes, and surprisingly, have not had one backlash. Not one interrogation. Not one message asking, "who the hell do you think you are? " Years before, I was getting bombarded for barely speaking.
How wild is that? And at the time I was attracting people constantly projecting and yelling their opinions into my face, I was holding my hands over my ears because I didn't wanna face my own unwanted memories and ideas. I mean...yeah.
Not to say there won't always be people who just aren't happy with what we're doing 'n wanna be grumps, but how huge is it to realize we can just give ourselves room to relax and breathe, and the environment will shift.
People stop asking us our exact sources and reasons behind our statements, they feel that we are speaking for no other reason but to release the vibrations of our own heart into the world. We're doing it for ourselves, so no one can really fuck with that.
When we no longer have anything to prove, there's no longer an underyling tone of needing validation, review, or grading from others. We stop attracting the people that wanna pick everything apart so they can feed their own frustrations.
Everyday I'm realizing more and more how important it is to keep a healthy dose of uncertainty and wonder. To stay open enough for ourselves to keep growing and stretching, to receive new ideas and let them rattle around playfully rather than screaming and arguing out of stubborn defiance.
There's something to learn from everything, so I'm reminding myself to just listen, to be open enough to stay curious, so when change happens, it's not excruciating anymore, it's refreshing; it's exciting and invigorating.
" Do not hold onto your beliefs so tight that you can't fully receive; that you cannot expand your lungs enough to breath down into the tips of your toes. Even positive ideas can become stale and devoid of life when they are squeezed too tight. Allow yourself room to change, and your joy will never cease to grow. "
with love and joy-
Rebecca Garifo Ph.D.