August 20, 2019

I had a session recently and a client shared their word with me, the word that encompasses the truth of their spirit and highest being. I promised her I'd listen for mine as we got off the phone. (This is a fantastic way to recalibrate and recenter if you haven't tried it! I very much appreciated this exercise!) I've heard one phrase over and over for the last couple years when I've asked who I am and the reply is always, "The one who laughs with God." I both loved it and thought, "Uhh you egotistical as hell. The one who laughs with God? Really?" 

But... as my understanding has changed and I've inch by inch been shaming myself a lil less every time I choose to trust myself... it's making more sense.


I did as this woman suggested and took the phrase I felt and then began to chisel it down further and further until the one word that rang true came out, and what I heard was, Pure.


I immediately felt it glowing in my chest but my brain said, "Pure? Like dressed in all white, vegan, well spoken, no ill thoughts or twisted humor?" The Mormon raised girl in me said,"That ain't me boss."


But then I heard, "Not pure the way you were taught to think of it, meeting someone else's idea of perfection and holiness. We mean pure as in not watered down. Untampered with. That is the way the hearts intelligence is to be delivered- in it's purest form. It's highest potency. The shielding, the watering down, the softening of edges... that is what weakens the medicinal potential of pure heart intelligence. Do not be afraid of it. Do not try to make it into something more palatable. Shine."


If you listen to my podcast, you know I'm taking a lil hiatus. I've been overwhelmed by the responses from both my book and the show and the people pleaser in me has wanted to put myself on the back burner and make sure everyone is getting what they want and need from me because I'm so thankful for being heard! ... but...that's not why I started 'n that's not why I'm here. I didn't start any of my projects with anyone else in mind really...I just wanted to speak freely finally, and I think that's where I need to get back to. 


The time off from social media and podcasting has reminded me significantly that trying to cover everyone's bases never works... but coming from my own absolutely purest space and speaking directly to people's hearts as opposed to addressing surface issues? That's when I get message after message from people saying, "That's exactly what I needed to hear!" Y'all... that's cause we ARE that connected, and I've needed to remember that. When I'm coming from that space I don't get overwhelmed, but excited. I don't get writers block, but instead I can't seem to keep enough pads of paper in the house. That's the space I wanna be coming from. That's the space I wanna share from. That's the space I wanna live from. Pure. Clear. No mixers. Neat.


As Empaths I believe that's where we're misunderstood. Where we feel we're hearing and speaking a different language. We live life through the heart's intelligence as opposed to the brain's. We know and feel the truth of the world and people thousands of miles away because we easily translate the pulses and messages of the heart, where truth lives. It's recorded and present inside us in less than a millisecond. So to leave those messages unexpressed, those truths untold... it can feel a lil like water in the lungs. We can begin to feel heavy, suffocated, anxious, as if we're breathing through a thick cloth.


We see, breathe, speak, hear, and live through the heart's intelligence. More and more I think it's in trying to water that down or stay in the brain to make sense of things and salt bath and shield away the wisdom that only the heart can interpret that makes us become weighed down and sick. 


To heal and live freely we gotta learn to live with both heart and mind connected freely, communicating clearly without jumping back and forth, switching one on and off, causing discomfort and things that that might be labelled now as bipolar, depression and anxiety. (It's just a thought)


I'm remembering what I heard when my husband and I sat down in front of Max months and months ago, "There you are! Now why are you so afraid of who you are? There's no need for that!" It's easy to wanna stop the ride sometimes y'all, but it's worth it to stick it out over the hill and see what we're made of every time!



All my love!


















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