The end of this year is wrapping up so much on so many levels. It's bringing up feelings of uncertainty, followed quickly by moments of clarity. Both fear and excitement. Worry and then complete trust.
I think this is kinda the no man's land between who we were and who we will be.
What needs to stay, and what needs to go. What will fit into our new environment and what's run its course.
Writing for me has been a life raft.
During an astrology reading from The Whoroscope Witch (please go check her out she's wonderful) she asked me how I dealt with fear and writer's block.
I hadn't really thought about it but when she asked me I realized I didn't really have time to be fearful. Writing came as the only thing I could do after jumping from a burning ship. Expressing my unheard emotions and invalidated truth was my last attempt at survival.
Where I often feel terrified and inadequate putting paint on a canvas or clay on a wheel... words come out as easy as paddling a life boat. I just have to. They've been kept in so long I've had no choice but to set them free.
As this year and decade are coming to a close, I can feel my lil life raft scraping the shallows and nearing the beach. This blog has carried me where I needed to go to build a new life. To become strong enough in my voice to continue and begin again. To believe that my words are even worth hearing.
I think it'll always be a process for me, but I'm zeroing in on what I can do and what I really wanna do. At this point in my life- if it's begun feeling more like a chore, I wanna let it go and allow it to run it's course rather than cranking anything out. I have so many books I wanna write that that's where I know my focus on writing needs to go.
I cannot. I mean can-not thank you enough for hearing me and rowing this boat with me. A woman made a comment on a podcast episode the other day- "Validation brings transformation." and my God. If that ain't the truth.
It's so important we speak our own hearts. Our own voice and truth. But if it's always fallen on deaf ears... we can start to give up on our worth and every dream one by one. You've helped me breath life back into my dreams and back into myself.
I think that's one of the most incredible things we can do for one another- just listen and see one another. When we believe our voice matters, when we begin to feel real worth in ourselves, we begin to shine ourselves up. We clean house and take pride in our internal belongings. We no longer feel a strong need to fit in, act like others or repeat others opinions because we know ours are valued just as much.
So this will be my last blog post. The end of a chapter y'all, so I can use my voice in so many more ways I was once afraid to. But no so much anymore. :)
I'm creating a course which will come out early in the summer of 2020 dedicated to The Narcissist & The Empath which seem to be a theme everyone is needing the most right now. It's time for all of us to help one another not only paddle away from the burning ships, but rebuild once we find land.
We can free ourselves, but still live imprisoned in fear and injustice of the world with wounded eyes. Never quite embodying the freedom and joy we all deserve. That's what I want to bring to the table. A missing piece I haven't quite been able to find in my own research on this dynamic, so I think it's time I create it.
Thank you for reading and supporting me. I cannot wait to see what next year brings.
All my love and thanks to you!!!
Me and Lotus thank you :)